i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
