And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
