We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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