found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
