i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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