you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
