There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
