she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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