just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
