Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
