it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
please come you make the beer taste better
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
