The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
honey bunches of taint.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
