I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
