ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She bit a glass in half.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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