I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
