Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
one two three fourrrrnication!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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