just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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