It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
