hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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