The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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