I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
