Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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