yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
