we have pet lesbian snakes
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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