So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hippo gnu deer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
