I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
