My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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