I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
