how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
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