I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
