So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
