remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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