But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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