His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
