you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
