We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize