i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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