Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
