from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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