you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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