Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
