what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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