Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
