It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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