but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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