So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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