Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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