I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
