Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
