hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
