Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
